Why not host a dinner party??
Answering your biggest hosting stressors, and a super cool announcement!
My hosting roots run deep for 2 reasons:
1) My mom is an exceptional one. Anyone who’s set foot inside that little house on Normandy has experienced the sense of home she’s fostered (and continues to foster). They’ve also likely been offered afternoon popcorn and Diet Coke: truly, still, an underrated combination. She effortlessly strikes a balance between ensuring everyone has what they need, and not being too showy about it.
2) I needed friends after being a homeschooled ballerina in high school. Hosting was the only way I knew how to get them. I may have missed a lot (a LOT) of social cues, but I did know how to send an invite and grill some chicken.
I learned that hosting is the answer to making friends while having social anxiety because:
You know everyone in attendance.
There will be food you like, because you’re making it.
Feeling awkward? Don’t worry! You can “check the oven” or “forget to grab something out of the fridge.”
You get the advantage of hanging out with all the people you care about without having to be in an unfamiliar environment.
There’s magic in sharing good food with good people.
In recent years (COVID aside), I’ve noticed how many of my peers feel nervous about hosting. And because I want every single person to experience the same joy I get out of welcoming friends into my home, I posited the question on IG: What stresses you out about hosting a dinner party? And I have some solutions.
What about all the dishes?
Dispose of them!
This is a primary concern for many of you, and I completely relate. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t manage to “do dishes as I go” like they say you should, which leaves not only the dishes from cooking, but also the dishes from the eating.
I wouldn’t recommend this for daily use, because I’d like to preserve the earth, but there are some really freaking cute disposable dish ware options that are perfect for saving you the extra effort. Here are my favorites:
What about making sure everything is done at the same time? How do I keep everything hot?
Simplify the menu:
Try to keep it to one-pot or sheet pan recipes that you can supplement with a salad or side dish that is served cold or room temperature. Something like:
Molly Baz’s Crispy McCrisperson Chicken Thighs with Herby Peas & Fennel paired with rice + a simple salad
Sheet-Pan Roasted Fish With Sweet Peppers from Melissa Clark (I’ve talked about this recipe before, but it deserves another mention)
Carla Lalli Music’s Tofu with Sizzled Ginger and Greens
Prep ahead of time:
If you want a menu with multiple dishes requiring varying cooking times and temperatures, consider what can be made ahead of time and then heated up in the oven or on the stovetop. For example:
Mary’s Make-Ahead Mashed Potatoes
Boil 4-5 Yukon Gold Potatoes in heavily salted water until very tender.
Push through potato ricer into large bowl. Add 3 tablespoons of butter, a few glugs of heavy whipping cream, and a spoonful of creme fraiche (or sour cream). until combined. Add salt and fresh black pepper to taste.
Butter a loaf pan or other oven safe dish. Fill with the mashed potatoes.
Make the crispy topping: Finely dice 1 shallot. Fry in avocado oil with breadcrumbs. Remove from pan once crispy and drain on paper towel. Season with salt. Finely chop a bunch of parsley. Combine crispy shallots, breadcrumbs, and parsley in a bowl with a handful of grated parmesan cheese.
Cover mashed potatoes with the crispy topping and drizzle melted butter on top. Cover with tin foil.
When ready to serve, heat covered in oven alongside whatever other dish you’re serving. Takes a minimum of 15ish minutes to heat through.
What about managing the cooking process while welcoming guests??
Don’t freak out. Give them a job. Omr snacks:
It’s completely normal to have a 20ish (or more) minute gap between when people arrive and when food is on the table. YOU set the tone. So when you have a million tasks and the doorbell rings and you’re in a tizzy, take a breath and remember that nobody is judging you — they’re just stoked to be there! The next steps are easy:
Give them a job: I call these tasks “guest jobs.” They include slicing citrus (or anything that needs to be chopped), opening and pouring wine, bringing things to the table, lighting candles, heating plates in the microwave, etc. People are happy to lend a hand!
Have snacks prepared: I’m talking SIMPLE snacks. Nuts. Olives. Crudite. Chips and guac. Set it up somewhere out of your way (so you can actually finish cooking) with some good music playing and a coffee table book or something that they can look at. Once the first person is set up there, they’re primed to welcome additional arrivals, taking some pressure off of you.
Guess what. There’s more to come!!!!
Writing this little newsletter has become the highlight of my week. Thank you for the support, the sweet notes, the photos of food you’ve cooked!! It makes me want to share food with you all IN PERSON.
Welp. Great news….
There’s an extra special event in the works, coming to you this October. I’ll announce more details in the next couple of weeks, but keep an eye on Dilly Dally’s newly launched IG for all the updates!!!
In the meantime, I hope this gives you the push to host your friends.
Happy Eating!!
Mary
Giving people little jobs is HUGELY underrated. If I'm at someone's house and they are working, I naturally want to help! Gives me an activity while chatting, a contribution to the meal, and helps me get familiar with the space.