Cooking Through Trauma

who needs company when you have croissants??

Dammit, Queer Eye!!! Not a perfect show, but frustratingly good at touching my soul and making me cry. Specifically, episode six of the new season, in which Antoni teaches our hero Mary, a formerly (and unjustly) incarcerated woman, to make shrimp etouffee. She chops and stirs and begins to cry, exclaiming: “This is therapy! I’m cooking through my trauma.”

One could say I’ve been (and continue to go) around the therapeutic block: talk therapy, EMDR, meditation, reiki, affirmations, equine, breath work, etc. But nothing — NOTHING — is or has been more grounding than cooking. It forces me to use each of my senses, to be present even when I’d rather not be. It’s a somatic practice that produces the best kind of result: something delicious.

There are two categories of dishes I find are most effective when I’m struggling mentally: aspirational cooking projects, and recipes so easy a 5-year-old could follow them.

Aspirational cooking projects are PERFECT for depression because they’re all consuming. Suddenly, a five-year plan becomes less urgent when your next two days are occupied by laminating dough. The sting of loneliness loses its edge when you’re too busy reading digital scales and converting measurements.

Who needs company when you have CROISSANTS??? Some tips on where to start:

• RESEARCH: Claire has a great step-by-step. Alex also has an enlightening croissant series where he consults renowned French chefs and gets feedback.

• EQUIPMENT: standing mixer, bench scraper, ruler, digital scale, parchment paper, a smooth flat surface.

• TIME: Block your calendar. Silence your phone. Take the weekend.

A few recipes so easy a 5-year-old could make them:

• Peanut noodles. You can use ramen noodles here, but even spaghetti will work. Throw in whatever veggies are looking as sad as you feel. It’ll come together quicker than a DoorDash order. The special sauce is easy:

  • In a small bowl, grate a clove of garlic and some fresh ginger. Use powdered for both if you don’t have fresh.

  • Add a squeeze of lime, a couple dashes of rice vinegar, and 1 tbsp(ish) of soy sauce to the bowl with two heaping spoonfuls of peanut butter.

  • Whisk to combine, added warm water to thin it out as needed. Taste to see if additional soy or lime is required. A pinch of brown sugar can round it out.

• Crispy fried egg + rice. I’m obsessed with this mother/daughter duo who walk through the perfect technique.

• Annie’s mac ‘n cheese always and forever. But just the shells in white cheddar kind. The secret to making it a full meal? Extra cheese: any kind you have on hand is great. Extra butter. And frozen broccoli. (Steamed works; I’ll share more on using frozen veggies in a future newsletter!)

• Daddy Pasta. I mentioned it last time, but it deserves another.

  

Additional tips:

• Adding fresh cilantro to your frozen meal can increase dopamine levels by AT LEAST 30% (from personal experience).

• Invite a friend over. Cooking for someone else is way more motivating PLUS it’ll give you a reason to clean.

• Keep sour candy on hand. It’s been shown to help panic attacks!

• Food is food. Eating SOMETHING (even fast food) is better than eating nothing. Leave the guilt for another day.

Cheers, Mary